FEATURES OF FATHERHOOD

1 Corinthians 4:14-16; Genesis 49:1,2; 46:26-30; 45:1-15;

48:8-22

A.E.M. I would like to suggest to the brethren that we enquire into the features of the father. The thought of the father is prevalent and fruitful in scripture, and runs right through the Bible. The scripture in Corinthians has been particularly on my heart. Paul has to say to the Corinthian saints, “For if ye should have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet not many fathers”. I am exercised as to the features that make a father. It is interesting that in the list of gifts in Ephesians and in Corinthians, the father is not mentioned as being a gift. Nonetheless I believe that the features of a father are God given.

There are two things I would like to say in setting this out. Firstly we should not at all exclude the sisters from what we are about to speak of. There is the matter of motherhood in scripture; specific and very beautiful features of motherhood are seen, and maybe that will come in as we look at one or two examples of where fatherhood comes into prominence. The second thing is that every one of us has been the subject of the service of fathers, so that it does not exclude anyone. We all have a natural father, but we can all have spiritual fathers too, if we allow it. So the features of fatherhood, both as recipients of the service of a father and as seeking to take up fatherhood, should mark us all.

We could have spoken of Abraham and of Isaac. God traced these beautiful features of fatherhood from the beginning of the Bible. They came in first with Adam; we read that he at one point took over the naming of his sons with skill. We come to Noah and we see the features of fatherhood there too. In Abraham we see God taking account of what was totally reliable and what He could depend upon, and also features of the father coming out as Abraham and Isaac went up the mountain. Abraham had great concern as to how the testimony, how his lineage, was going to continue. But with Jacob and Joseph, there were specific features that came out that I believe are to mark those who seek to take on the features of being a father. We will look at them in more detail but my thought is simply that in the beginning of Genesis 49 there were the two sides given in the two names of Jacob. Firstly, he refers to “ye sons of Jacob”, and then he says “listen to Israel your father”. We might enquire into what those two names mean; Jacob and Israel clearly refer to the same person.

When we come to chapter 46 we see that both of those names, Jacob and Israel, came out in expression in the way that Jacob acted both towards his family and towards Joseph, the way that Jacob as a very experienced and feeling father made way for Joseph. In Joseph we see influence; what struck me was that Joseph was a young man, and yet he described himself in verse 8 of chapter 45 as a “father to Pharaoh”.

Finally, in chapter 48 we see the two men together as Ephraim and Manasseh were brought to Jacob. Jacob acknowledged the way he had been shepherded by God all his life, and Joseph brought his two sons before him. We see that Jacob overruled, very beautifully. He says “I know, my son, I know”. Joseph did not seek to set aside what was there in Jacob; we could learn from that too.

P.J.W. I was thinking that one of the prime features of a father is care. That would not limit it only to older persons, because Paul spoke as to Timothy as one who cared with genuine feeling how the saints got on (Phil.2:20). I wondered if that feature comes out in all these scriptures, and in Paul himself. Features of a father’s love came out, and showed his love for all the saints. He speaks about the burden of all the assemblies being upon him (2 Cor.11:28).

A.E.M. I think that genuine care is an important feature of a father. It is interesting that if you asked everyone in this room if they cared about the brethren, everyone would say, Yes. And yet Paul said “not many fathers”. When do you think this feature of care is seen in a father?

P.J.W. Well, we are all tested. I suppose it is seen as we take on the features of Christ Himself. He said to one “He that has seen me has seen the Father” (John 14:9) and it also says of God “cast all your care upon him, for he cares about you”, 1 Pet.5:7. Occupation with Christ is the only way to take on the features that were seen in Him, because He portrayed the Father when He was here, do you think?

A.E.M. I am glad that you brought that in, because these features of fatherhood according to God were seen in activity between the Father and the Son.

D.J.R. It is clear that whatever expense there might be, Paul was prepared to spend and be utterly spent (2 Cor.12:15). He was prepared whatever the cost.

A.E.M. You are alluding to another feature of fatherhood, the spirit of sacrifice. This reading may bring these features out and enable us to think about them. I think that sacrifice enters into it; as you say, whatever the cost. Then other features that always remain, and which we would remember, are the knowledge of the truth and righteousness. A father would never set those aside; in fact he would personify them. But what you say about the cost in terms of sacrifice is a very significant feature of a father, because Paul’s words are, “not many fathers”. Maybe there are not many of us prepared to go to the extent of what is required to provide fatherly service.

P.J.M. The apostle is telling them in Corinth that he was their father because he had begotten them, and interestingly in verse 17 he speaks of another child of his that he was going to send to them. Would you say something about Paul in this role?

A.E.M. I think Paul had entered into their circumstances, just as we will see that Jacob entered into the circumstances of Joseph. Unless we make way for the influence of Christ, by having a heavenly view of Christ as Paul had, we will not enter into circumstances rightly. A natural father has to admonish, he has to discipline, and he has to regulate what is under his hand. A lot of that may not be perceived as very nice, but a father is righteous and he enters fully into the circumstances of his child. Paul had done that, had he not?

P.J.M. There is certainly, to use a common expression, some tough love in the first epistle. You can see he is very straight with them, but he was not ready to finish with them, because his love encompassed them and reminded them of what they were to him and to God.

A.E.M. Yes I think so, and the influence that such a man could have on young or old is extensive. I think these features are represented very clearly in Paul’s life, in his Christian pathway, in his testimony here.

P.J.W. The writer to the Hebrews says “Moreover we have had the fathers of our flesh as chasteners, and we reverenced them; shall we not much rather be in subjection to the Father of spirits, and live?” (chap.12:9), “but he for profit, in order to the partaking of his holiness”.

A.E.M. It is a very good exercise to identify who our spiritual fathers are, not with a view to our putting them on a pedestal, or making much of them naturally, but to see the features in them which we would seek to follow. Paul’s words here are “I entreat you therefore, be my imitators”. There were plenty of things about Paul after the flesh that he would not have wanted them to imitate, but there were heavenly features formed by the work of God which were to be effective in what was a dire situation in Corinth.

J.R.W. A father would have the very best in mind for his children, would he? He says “I have begotten you through the glad tidings”; Paul had spoken to them in relation to the glad tidings, with a real desire in his heart that what might work out would be the very best for his children.

A.E.M. Yes, we see something of the unselfish nature of a father, having the best in mind for his children. I find that very testing, because I might think of how things might turn out for me at the end. A true father does not do that. Paul says “be my imitators”. He says “I have begotten you through the glad tidings”, that is where it all started, that is what was in the heart of this father.

D.A.B. I noticed in 1 Thessalonians, Paul described what his fatherly service was; he said “ye know how, as a father his own children, we used to exhort each one of you, and comfort and testify, that ye should walk worthy of God, who calls you to his own kingdom and glory”, 1 Thess.2:11. A father might be satisfied if the children walked worthy of him or of his family, but Paul desired that they should walk worthy of God and in relation to His interests, His kingdom and glory.

A.E.M. That is my exercise, to get a greater appreciation of fathers as they do that. Paul referred to, “ten thousand instructors”; he said that they might have all this instruction. We have very valuable truth and light, and we are to hold it dearly, but we also need fatherhood.

D.A.B. I suppose in Corinth they were in a sense a relatively new Christian company, and these features do not come in a flash. But the Corinthians had not applied themselves to develop this priority among them. Their focus had been on being teachers, without first becoming fathers and teaching as fathers.

A.E.M. I think so. There were many people telling them things, but there was the need for the feature of fathers. Now I do not set aside what comes out in the way of motherhood and what is in the sisters, but we know brothers who have exhibited the features of a father, and still do. I was thinking during the week about how few brothers that I have allowed to be a father spiritually to me. It works both ways; there is also a responsibility on us all to allow the service of a father towards us. I speak simply, dear brethren; we knew what it was in our locality to lose a spiritual father. When that happens, you have to ask yourself, where is that feature to come from now?

D.C.W Solomon wrote, “I was a son unto my father”, Prov.4:3. It obviously required a great deal of instruction and help for the features that marked David to come out in expression, did it not?

A.E.M. That reminds us of what was seen between the Father and the Son, and of the features of a father when the Lord Jesus was here upon the earth. We could think of all the scriptures that speak of this: morning by morning, the Lord’s prayers and communion with His Father through the night, His activity in the day, His entering into the Father’s feelings, its direction. All these things came from heaven, and if we are to be fathers amongst God’s people in any sense, we have to take those features from the Father.

D.C.W. We can sense something of the features of God Himself when He says “I have nourished and brought up children; and they have rebelled against me”, Isa.1:2. So in the normal course of events, children should be responsive and should feel indebted to and feel love and affection toward their father.

A.E.M. Such rebellion is one of the greatest tests and particularly in the world at the present time. The enemy uses it to bring in friction in relationships such as you have described, and we feel that.

P.J.W. We were reminded this week that Paul says “without natural affection” 2 Tim.3:3. It would be a sorry thing if that marked any believer, would it not? That is why, as our brother says, it is important.

A.E.M. I think we have to be prepared for the service of a father. Even naturally, if as a father what you are trying to do for the benefit of your children is rejected, it is a very difficult time; it brings in distance in a household. But in spiritual things, we need to put ourselves in the way of the service of a father, and be ready for it.

J.S.H. Do you think stability comes into it as well? I was thinking of the father in Luke 15; he had not changed, had he? The son had to change, but the father had not changed at all.

A.E.M. That is a beautiful reference. We were reminded in the gospel recently that ‘the best robe had always been in the cupboard’. I think it is beautiful that the father’s heart was the same. He ran, he was ready. The younger son had rejected everything. He did not even go away and say ‘you can keep everything, I am going’. He said ‘I am going to take what is mine and I am going to go’. But the father was watching and was ready, and he had the best robe for when the son returned.

R.D.Pr. I was going to ask you to say a bit more about a father’s prayer. You have spoken about spiritual fathers, and one thing that I have observed amongst those that are spiritual fathers is prayer. I know one or two who have said to me, I have prayed for you. It really is a fatherly feature that we need to promote, is it not?

A.E.M. It is both a fatherly and a motherly feature. I understand that this was spoken of at the burial of our sister in Dorking recently, that she was a sister marked by prayer. Now fathers ought to be also. Where else will the formation of fatherly features, and direction for movement come from, save from communion with divine Persons. I believe the movements of a spiritual father derive nothing from what is natural at all – it is from a spiritual realm.

H.J.G. We spoke earlier about the way that Christ was as a Son to His Father. Did He not say He always did the things that pleased the Father (John 8:29)?

A.E.M. That is helpful. The representation of these features is worth far more than speaking about them. “He that has seen me has seen the Father” (John 14:9); that was seen always in the Lord Jesus. And it was reciprocated. He says “No one can come to me except the Father who has sent me draw him”, John 6:44. The reciprocal movement of a father with a son typified so beautifully in Jacob and Joseph is something that we should seek to foster.

D.C.W. The Father has confidence in the Lord. “The Father loves the Son and shews him all things which he himself does”, John 5:20. I was just linking on with what our brother said about the Lord doing things that please the Father. He was operating from example.

A.E.M. Yes. The activities of a father are so much better represented when seen. If a spiritual father seeks to admonish you, then you would look to see consistency in his own walk with what he is admonishing you about. We have spoken about taking on these features when we are young. It is very difficult to take on the features of a father and speak to others in that capacity, if you are not representing it yourself in your walk.

P.M. Paul says “But thou hast been thoroughly acquainted with my teaching, conduct, purpose, faith, longsuffering” 2 Tim.3:10. The teaching came first, but it was exemplified in one who moved in faith and had a purpose.

A.E.M. We would not be acting as fathers were we not in the gain of sound teaching. I think that has to be there. And my exercise is that we have much teaching, and we have much spiritual knowledge, and yet Paul has to say here “not many fathers”. I trust I am not taking it out of context when I say these fatherly features do not always come into prominence. They certainly do not in my activities, but we should be exercised to show them.

D.J.W. I was wondering whether experience with God must be the source if the fatherly element is to develop. Jacob said, “the God that shepherded me all my life long”; he was speaking from his experience. He had learnt God that way and was therefore able to convey it to his family.

A.E.M. Yes, his experience enabled him to take up features that he had proved himself. We will not be able to do that unless we have proved the matter ourselves.

We should look at Jacob at the beginning of chapter 49, where he says “Assemble yourselves, and hear, ye sons of Jacob, And listen to Israel your father”. There is experience with God in these words. He is taking up his responsibility as a father, suggested in the name of Jacob, and he also has a spiritual influence as he uses the name Israel.

D.J.W. He gained that name in the wrestling match in chapter 32, and from then on there was an emergence of the spiritual side. He had many ups and downs, which is what we are like naturally, but he came at the end of his life as one who was a worshipper and a blesser, and that was a result of his own experience with God.

A.E.M. A father has to go through some of those ups and downs to gain that influence in speaking to sons. He says here “Assemble yourselves, and hear, ye sons of Jacob”. As a natural father, he could do that; he could ask them to come together, he had command in that sense, as a natural father, but he says “And listen to Israel your father”. It is a beautiful touch of spiritual influence.

P.J.W. So the greatest man on earth at the time had to listen to his father; “I know, my son, I know”. We might say, I do not see how he could rebuke Joseph, but I wondered if that brings out what you say about the spiritual side of Israel.

A.E.M. I think so, and it brings out the reciprocation we have been speaking of in Joseph too. Jacob had made way for Joseph. The moment Joseph was born, Jacob asked Laban to send him away to his own country (Gen.30:25). He had gone through exercise about that, and I think what our brother has just said as to Jacob is interesting. Abraham, Isaac and Jacob all carried an exercise as to barrenness in their marriages, as to what was to continue. I apply that to our local meetings. As spiritual fathers, we would seek to take up the exercise in our local places of what is going to continue. We need to be in exercise about that before we can start acting as fathers. But Jacob had got to that point, and in his wisdom and experience, he very gently overrides Joseph’s action.

D.C.W. So what comes out in this chapter is that Jacob knows the characteristics or qualities of each. He does not lump them all together, he has something to say about each one of them. That is something for ourselves as fathers; that we should know the characteristics of our children and above all we should know what they are doing. Very often in families, parents may not know what the children are occupied with.

A.E.M. You are speaking to someone who knows that test, and there are many of us in this room who know the bid that the enemy is making for our young people. There has never been a time when spiritual fathers have been more needed; spiritual guidance, features of Christ being made way for; fathers quietly entering into the circumstances of our children, not just in our own families, but in our localities. The influence of a father is so important and you do not realise how important it is until it has gone, then you realise what it was shielding and what it was protecting.

D.C.W. So speaking practically in these days, children can become occupied with things which estrange them from the parents.

A.E.M. Yes I am sure that is true, and I am sure it has always been the case. Joseph had been taken away from Jacob. What sorrow that had brought to the heart of Jacob; he loved Joseph more than all his sons. He loved him, you might say, for the features of Christ that were typified in that young man, and I am sure he never stopped praying for him the whole time.

J.R.W. Two features come out here; one is discernment and one is wisdom. Jacob is marked by that and he addresses these sons individually, so as has been remarked he has different things to say to each. That discernment and that wisdom really come from his experience and his relation with God.

A.E.M. I think it does, it comes from heaven. His experience guides his relationship with his sons. How well he knew them. The test is, how well do we know our local brethren? How well do we know what they are passing through and what they have need of by way of fatherly service. Jacob knew the detail.

J.R.W. How can we develop in that? We see families with young people growing up and we are aware of the pressures on them and the bids that the enemy makes. How can we develop a little more in skill and affection to bring in what will help and encourage?

A.E.M. That is what is upon my spirit. I think what you have touched on is one way; we have to know our young people. We have to draw alongside them. Where we read in chapter 46, Jacob came to Joseph’s circumstances, did he not? I am not suggesting we need to know the detail of all the exercises of our local brethren or young people, but we need to be approachable. While remaining righteous, we need to be good listeners as well as instructors.

J.R.W. I was thinking too of the side of affection; to have the ability to show genuine love and affection in relation to them.

A.E.M. If we asked everyone here whether they loved their brethren, there would be no dissenting voice; but “not many fathers”. We need to draw alongside those that need the service of a father. It might not be a young person; it might be an older person who is in need of fatherly care. For someone like myself who is younger, that is something I have to be on my knees about; that is a very sensitive matter.

A.M. I was wondering if how he addressed them at first as “ye sons of Jacob” and then as “Israel your father” would show that he could see the features that were manifest in his sons; whether he could identify these as deriving from him in responsibility? But he would lift them up to the level of Israel, do you think?

A.E.M. Yes, that is very good. Taking responsibility is a vital feature. A father does that; he takes responsibility for what is happening. In our houses, naturally we have to take responsibility, and spiritually we have to do that also. In our local meetings, we have to take responsibility as fathers. It comes to the difference between an instructor and a father. The truth is well known. We might ask, Is it established in every young heart? Well, maybe not, but it is never going to be established unless someone draws alongside them, and with the feelings of God and with tenderness of heart, takes responsibility for doing that.

G.C.B. As to the Corinthians, Paul took responsibility directly. The Lord said to him “I have much people in this city”, Acts 18:10.

A.E.M. I think so. I have also been thinking of the Ephesian saints, to whom Paul had announced all the counsel of God (Acts 20:27). That was a responsibility he took on in all its detail. We know from Revelation that they had left their first love (Rev.2:4). But Paul had taken responsibility, and as you say, he came back to Corinth. There was nothing wrong with what Paul had taught them, but as a father he was able to draw alongside.

D.S.B. I was thinking of that scripture. He started by speaking about how he had served them, in weakness, meekness and tears. And then he spoke of God’s counsel; he had not shrunk from announcing to them the whole counsel of God. That is almost like the righteousness you spoke of earlier. Then he concluded with a reference to his admonishing them with tears; there was feeling in it as well.

A.E.M. I wonder how many times we have knelt down and shed tears. Paul said “night and day”; there is the responsibility that our brother was talking about. You cannot switch being a father on and off. You can teach one day and not another, but being a father is all the time you are in contact with your family. If you have taken on fatherly responsibility towards the saints, then you are always a father.

D.C.W. In that chapter in Acts 20, Paul says “shepherd the assembly of God”; that too would be a feature of fatherhood.

A.E.M. That is interesting, because shepherds are one of the gifts that are mentioned in Ephesians. I would be glad to know what the brethren think, but a father would use elements of all those gifts, and be ready, if directed to in drawing alongside, not just to be easy to talk to, or friendly, but able to bring in right teaching, right thoughts and right relationships.

D.C.W. So the two gifts are linked, “shepherds and teachers”.

A.E.M. I think fathers would take that on.

R.A.S. I was thinking that there is a beautiful balance that a father would show in relation to these things. As to what you said about what is not given up in terms of righteousness, the Lord as he walked with the two going to Emmaϋs (Luke 24:13) brought in a word of correction, but He goes with them. There is a touch from Him; there seems to be beautiful balance in the way in which the Lord acts there.

A.E.M. Yes, He made as if He would go further. I think that is a feature of a father; there is nothing out of balance. I am starting to see more clearly why Paul could say “not many fathers”. We get out of balance so quickly, one feature overrides another. A father does not do that, “he made as though he would go farther”, Luke 24:28.

T.J.H. Would a father normally have a house? The Lord Jesus said “In my Father’s house there are many abodes”, John 14:2. Paul had a house, he had a hired lodging, somewhere where persons could go in secluded conditions and draw near on a regular basis, do you think?

A.E.M. I think the father’s area of influence as you suggest is one that would always be welcoming. We referred to Luke 15 earlier. The father’s house was always there, the precious things were still in it; the atmosphere of it remained. One thing that God had in Abraham was that he was always reliable; He could rely on him. I like to think of that; if we take up this feature of being a father, God can rely on us to take it up at an appropriate time. Our area of influence is such that He can do that.

D.A.B. I was wondering about Abraham, because Jacob seems to imply that his standard was to maintain his own family at the level at which he himself had been brought up. He had lived with Abraham, and I have been thinking back to your comments as to those we have known as fathers. The ones that came to my mind have gone, and they walked more worthily of God than I do I may pass on a lower standard which the young people will actually not see for what it is, because they did not know these fathers. Unless the parental generation is concerned about what they themselves received, and the kind of people from whom they received it, things will be on a downward path, will they not?

A.E.M. I agree. The scripture refers to them as leaders, and to the issue of their conversation (Heb.13:7), their manner of life. Everything is of a piece. These were brothers and sisters who knew what it was to live in constant communion with divine Persons and were able to impart that.

D.A.B. And their very presence at the meetings helped to maintain the standard. There were things that were not done, and things that did not pass if they were there.

P.J.M. Jacob came to the thought of fatherhood late and rose to it. He uses his two names; they would indicate that there is honesty with Jacob. It is no bad thing to be able to say to somebody ‘I made this mistake, I did these things’. So Jacob is able to say, “the God that shepherded me”. He could say, ‘I have done evil, but I have come now to this present place of blessing in Israel’. When he talks about blessings later on in chapter 49, he says “The blessings of thy father surpass the blessings of my ancestors” (v.26), as though there had been something accumulated towards the end of his life that made up for the shortcomings of the earlier part. Should that be a word of encouragement to us?

A.E.M. I think it is, although I recall a word as to taking up these things later in our lives, to the effect that the Lord would not be best pleased if we used the first half of our lives to accumulate things for ourselves, and the second half to be of service to God, which is a word for those of us who are younger. But as you say, Jacob took it up as he made way for Joseph, typically for Christ. And as we see in chapter 46, when he came down to Joseph, Joseph yoked up his chariot and went up to meet Israel his father to Goshen “and he presented himself to him; and he fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while”. To refer again to reciprocal affection, we see the acknowledgment of fatherly influence from a man who himself had more influence here on earth than Jacob would ever have.

M.R.C. Would it be right to say of both Abraham and Jacob that they had in type known Him that is from the beginning (1 John 2:13). I am thinking of the importance of being in the divine presence. The footnote that Mr Darby gives to knowing is that it is not just something that is arrived at, but it continues. If I am going to be of any help to anyone, and I feel challenged, it is only because I have been sensitive in the divine presence and have a sense of the longings of divine Persons and their desires. Then I can seek grace in my measure to express that to others.

A.E.M. Yes. We might ask ourselves, what is the end, what is the objective of taking up fatherly service? Surely it is to bring someone to the enjoyment of relationships with the Father, and the Son; that is the objective, is it not? Now we do not have to be extremely knowledgeable to take up this service. We need to have an “outline of sound words” (2 Tim.1:13), but we do not need to be knowledgeable. We have to be feeling, and we have to “have known him that is from the beginning”.

M.R.C. When you think of Jacob guiding his hand intelligently, that had come from the divine presence, had it not; “known him that is from the beginning”. Those hands were moving according to divine instruction, “I know my son, I know”. That is blessed, is it not?

A.E.M. It is. When you think back to Isaac with Esau and Jacob, he made the wrong choice. Why did he make that wrong choice? Because he had a taste for his own things. He liked venison and so he chose the wrong son, but there was the influence of a spiritual sister, Rebecca, in guiding. She had the right sensitivity. When we come to Ephraim and Manasseh, Joseph had great influence over the whole of Egypt, he was a father to Pharaoh, someone who had that influence over vast numbers of people and land, and yet Jacob says to him “I know my son, I know”. To be able to speak like that to a young person who wants to go a certain way counts for a lot.

D.A.B. How did he know?

A.E.M. I do not know. What do you say?

D.A.B. Had he seen in the history of his fathers that it was the way of God to set aside what was first, and bring in something else? Had he begun to see that pattern even in his own life, and in his ways with God? And maybe at the end of his long life, he began to understand that God really did mean to work in that way, and that is how he had been blessed himself.

A.E.M. Yes, “the God that shepherded me all my life long”.

D.A.B. Where was Esau? He was the first, was he not? But God had moved his hands intelligently, and taken up Jacob.

A.E.M. Something that should exercise those of us who are younger as we seek to take this up is that we cannot set aside the experience of older brethren. The son never takes the father’s place, even in what is natural; he can never do that. Your father is always your father, and your son your son. And so it is in what is spiritual. Joseph, I think, sees that very quickly, and he recognises what is in Jacob.

D.A.B. However disappointed we might be, we will not find the fathers you are talking about fostering what is natural, however attractive it might be.

A.E.M. Sympathising is one thing, drawing alongside is another. There is what is right according to God, and a father does not excuse what is wrong.

P.J.M. So divine sovereignty might not fit in with my natural inclinations. The matter of the firstborn came up again in the case of David. David had been neglected by Jesse in favour of his other sons, but for God, there is divine sovereignty. That is what David had come to know, that he did not deserve the place that God had given him, or the favour, and it is a wonderful thing when you surrender to it.

A.E.M. A father can demonstrate, when he can draw alongside, that God’s sovereignty holds sway. Joseph had great influence. I am impressed that he described himself as a father to Pharaoh; he even calls Benjamin his son (Gen.43:29). How was he able to do that? He was a comparatively young man here. He had those features, he acknowledged God’s sovereignty, and he had feelings. I read extended portions of scriptures, because his feelings come out so much in them – the weeping and the recognition of what had been lost, and the joy when it had been regained. A father feels all those things.

P.J.M. I have been thinking as you have been speaking that Joseph becomes a temporary father to his family. We read about how God in Christ was reconciling the world to Himself (2 Cor.5:19). It was really Joseph who brought this family together and started speaking to them about their father. Really, he was the one who took on the fatherly exercise to reunite his family under its titular head, do you think?

A.E.M. Yes, I think he did. He took it on, he had the features, the feelings, the compassions, the affection, did he not? And what he does is bring them together; they are reunited again, and then they bring them into this land of plenty, the land of Goshen.

D.C.W. He knew their propensities, did he not? He says, “Do not quarrel on the way”, Gen.45:24.

A.E.M. Yes, very good; that is the feeling of a father. He knew what might happen. I suppose it is another feature of a father that you can pre-empt what might happen, because you know the dangers. I think that is why it is so valuable to lean on our older brethren, because they have been there, testimonially as well as naturally.

D.M. Did Paul see the potential in Timothy, “my beloved child”, 2 Tim.1:2.

A.E.M. I think he did. He saw the potential in Timothy for taking up the same features. He knew Timothy had been a recipient of them himself from the feminine side; his mother and grandmother had done that.

Well, I think this all links back to responsibility, as our brother referred to earlier. Do we take up responsibility in our place? When Isaac was faced with a situation where there was what was not going to continue, he took it up in much depth of prayer and anxiety as to how the line was going to continue. Do we take that up in our localities? As a father, do I have concern about where spiritual growth is going to come from in my locality, and how I can foster it and help it forward? I would first have to look at my own behaviour and my representation of what I know.

A.G.S. Could you say a word as to encouragement? Is that a feature that a father is able to provide? Paul had known it from Ananias (Acts 9:17) and from Onesiphorus (2 Tim.1:16).

A.E.M. There are two things, encouragement and admonition, which I think a father would be able to take up. Being able to encourage is a feature that I would greatly desire, to encourage the work of God, encourage someone to make way for the work that has begun in them that maybe has been covered by dross or by outside influence for a while. How can I uncover that and draw alongside? I will not be able to do it in public.

P.M. Does a father have to recognise at first that the work that is there is not of his doing.

A.E.M. That is what I was thinking; it is the work of God. It may be to my shame that some of the dross on top of it may be my doing, but the work that is there, the faith as a grain of mustard seed (Matt.17:20) was planted by God.

P.M. So desiring to be with God helps me to link on with what is of God in one and another. It is interesting that in the blessings of Jacob, there is no reference to God until you come to Joseph. And there in Joseph was the epitome of what a father longed for.

A.E.M. I think so. We come back to that word that Jacob loved Joseph more than all his sons (Gen.37:3). Christ in our affections causes us to move with alacrity towards God’s things in a way that nothing else will, does it not? If I do not bring Christ alongside a soul who may be struggling or need fatherly service, then I am bringing myself in, and that will not help the work of God.

P.M. We come to prove that Christ is the answer to every situation.

K.M. I was thinking of what Paul says to Timothy “Rebuke not an elder sharply, but exhort him as a father”, 1 Tim.5:1. Then as to Naaman, he is appealed to, “My father”, 2 Kings 5:13. There is a respect that is due to a father.

A.E.M. I think that is very important, and it was really what was uppermost in my mind as to Joseph with Ephraim and Manasseh. I think that word “Rebuke not an elder sharply” is a word to anyone who finds themselves as a recipient of the service of a father. It is very easy to rebuke sharply. Every generation has done it to the generation before. We have all felt that our fathers did not understand, because things have changed, things are different now; and that still happens. But a spiritual father has been through things and has learnt by his mistakes. He does not want to see them repeated, because he knows the cost of them. That is the value of being able to draw alongside.

P.J.W. I suppose the action of Joseph was rebuking an elder sharply. I was interested that Mr Taylor speaks of it as violence¹. But the way Jacob met it was in fatherly love and affection and influence, do you think?

A.E.M. Yes, it says as to Joseph, that when he saw what his father did “it was evil in his eyes”, and he reacted naturally to that. But we have referred already to the beautiful way in which Jacob just gently says “I know, my son, I know”. He does not meet it with like for like. That is the temptation. We may see someone doing something, acting in a certain way, and we try and combat it with like for like. Jacob does not do that. A true father would not do that.

D.J.R. Jacob had to go through that. In chapter 49, he starts with Reuben, saying “thou shalt have no pre-eminence” (v.4). He must have really felt that.

A.E.M. I think so, and this is the value of experience. We have to accept that many of our brothers who have shown fatherly features and genuine care in this area are no longer with us. Now where are these features going to come from? We have much instruction, much teaching and we are very thankful for it, but where are the fatherly features that help those struggling for the moment to enter into it.

R.W.F. We do not exactly seek features of fatherhood, but they are a consequence of experience with God. Therefore if we seek that, the features of fatherhood would follow.

A.E.M. Yes, that is helpful. Again they are not a gift, in the way that the gifts are set out in Corinthians and Ephesians, but God does impart them. I think He enables them. I will not be able to act as a father if I am seeking or behaving in another way, do you think?

R.W.F. I think what comes through in all this is that the father has the ability to see forward. The context of the first scripture that you read in Corinthians is the preaching of the glad tidings. Here in chapter 49, Jacob is able to look at what his sons have done, but as Israel he looks forward. There is the aspect of prophecy which can really only come through experience with God.

A.E.M. Yes, that experience leads such a one into the secrets of God’s heart. As a younger person, I would want to avail myself of that, because there are those in this room who have such experience. It may be as simple as encouraging a young brother to take part the next time he has a question. These things are testing and difficult to do.

A.V.W. Would a father be one that could easily adjust us? We had a brother here locally who used to ask us questions, and quite often it irked me, but looking back, I can see it was a father speaking to me.

A.E.M. I think so, because he had a genuine concern that you and others should grow in the knowledge of the truth. I