THE MARRIAGE LINK

B. W. Burton

Ephesians 5: 22–33; Acts 18: 1–3, 18, 19 (to ‘left him there’), 24–26; Romans 16: 3–5 (to ‘house’)

I wish to say a word, dear brethren, as to the sanctity of the marriage link as “in the Lord”, 1 Corinthians 7: 39. I am thinking too of what Peter says, “as also fellow-heirs of the grace of life”, 1 Peter 3: 7. In speaking of this holy subject I feel a certain measure of trepidation, and I need the help of the Lord, and of the Spirit of God too, to speak rightly of it. The verses in Ephesians 5 are perhaps the most outstanding in Scripture as to this precious relationship, and the way that it is intertwined by Paul here with the truth as to Christ and the assembly. Then I read these references to Aquila and Priscilla whom we might think of as a model couple of believers who were thoroughly with the beloved apostle, and a great help and strengthening to the saints generally.

I bring this subject forward for two main reasons. One is that the young people amongst us must be surrounded in schools, and even the older ones in business, by complete confusion in families, where this relationship of husband and wife has been trodden underfoot, and it means nothing to myriads of our fellow men, alas. Think of the way that the enemy has been so successful in invading this precious relationship and really suggesting that it does not matter very much anyway, it is quite unnecessary; the man and the woman can live together as they please, and separate as they please. How foreign, beloved brethren, to God’s thoughts which go back to Genesis 2, with which Ephesians 5 obviously has a strong link. I think we should be very clear about that. But then the second point comes nearer home, beloved brethren, because whilst maybe we have not reached the depths that are amongst men around us, there has been a lot of sorrow even amongst us, and believers generally, in relation to the breakdown of this precious relationship. I just would say, feelingly and affectionately, it is not right. It is a serious affront to divine majesty that this precious relationship, set on of God, should be upset, interfered with and imposed upon by the enemy’s work. It is very sad indeed to see the breakdown of this relationship even amongst some of us, and I think we ought to take heed to that, dear brethren. One of the main things at the root of this is selfishness, and it is what activates the world around us—What can I get out of this? How does it affect me? It is very sad, dear brethren, if anything of that comes in amongst the beloved saints. The relationship of husband and wife is to be worked out in the spirit of selflessness, mutual affection and cooperation. The verses in Ephesians 5 bring that out, and it is very precious, and it is of God; I think we ought to thoroughly respect that, dear brethren, and we ought to examine the marriage relationship for ourselves to make sure that self is not activating us in any action at all, because what is selfish will destroy what is for divine delight and pleasure, and may even destroy that relationship, as it has done in certain cases, which is very sad.

So I take up these verses in Ephesians 5 which are very beautiful. First of all the appeal by Paul is to the wives, to “submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord”. Is that not beautiful? Well some of the sisters may not entirely agree with that, and of course in the world around us the idea that a wife should be subject to her husband is ridiculed. Sometimes a woman decides to opt out of the sentence in the marriage bonds in which she agrees to obey her husband. It is a shame that that should be the case; but there it is, it is foreign with worldly women, any idea of being subject to the husband. But let us notice this, beloved brethren, it is submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. That is, you look in one sense, if I put it rightly, beyond the husband; you look to the Lord, and you see that the divinely appointed way is that the husband stands in that relationship with you, he represents in that way the Lord; and the Lord’s rights normally in a wonderful and correct relationship would be reflected in the husband. And so the sisters here are exhorted “to submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord, for a husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the assembly”. These verses I think are exceedingly beautiful, dear brethren, in that at every step Paul interrelates these things; the literality of a husband and wife with the glory of that relationship of Christ with the assembly; and as he says at the end of this section, “This mystery is great”. May it bow our hearts, dear brethren, in praise and worship that we belong to a vessel that is Christ’s in every respect, a great mystery as to Christ and as to the assembly. We may well enquire into it, and go on enquiring into it, because I think there is untold wealth and blessing in it; what Christ is to His assembly, and what she is to Him too. Wonderful, is it not! Wonderful to have a part in a vessel that delights the heart of Christ, that He is soon going to take to Himself and translate into circumstances of glory; and I think these verses show that she is going to be perfectly equal to that.

You get the type in Asnath, I suppose, taken up, you might say, out of the blue almost, nothing said about her previous history, and yet she is a woman who was morally able and morally equal to being united to Joseph in his glory, typical of Christ’s millennial glory and dominion over the whole earth. Is it not beautiful that God had that woman in reserve that she could become the wife of such a glorious man as Joseph, and that is translated too in relation to the glory of the assembly for Christ. And so it goes on to say here, “But even as the assembly is subjected to the Christ, so also wives to their own husbands in everything”. There is no way out of it, dear brethren, dear sisters. I trust it does not seem onerous to any sister here, but rather it is your glory. It is a wonderful thing to see a woman in the beauty of subjection and working these truths out firstly with her husband, but then in relation to the Lord’s own peculiar claims. How beautiful if the Lord Jesus looks down on the families of the saints and sees these things being worked out. I trust it is so. I think it is a very great shame, brethren, if the enemy gets into that relationship, and it works havoc. We have seen the sorrows of it, even amongst ourselves, and it is a sobering thing. We need more love, more selflessness. It says of Christ, “For the Christ also did not please himself”, Romans 15: 3. I think, brethren, if you look at the breakdown in these relationships you will find that it is some way of self-pleasing either with the husband or the wife, or with both, that has interfered with this precious relationship. May it be held in its true light and dignity as patterned on Christ and the assembly. He pleased not Himself. He gave all, He gave Himself for the assembly. Think of the love of Christ, how far He went, and what a price He paid that He might have the assembly for Himself, and He will have it. He has it now in spirit and will have it in actuality.

I love that hymn we sang at the beginning, it is a beautiful hymn (Hymn 355). I remember well the sister who wrote it. She lived in fairly limited circumstances, and yet that hymn touches something of the greatness and the glory of what we are speaking about; the assembly for Christ and the Spirit’s part in relation to it. It was written at the time when we were recovered to the thoughts of being able to speak to and worship the blessed Holy Spirit of God. She was a woman who was very much following the opening up of the truth of those days. She had the light of it, and the Lord, I think, blessed her in writing that hymn. I would encourage the sisters to be on that line, to lay hold of the sweetness and the blessedness of what it is to have part in Christ’s assembly, and to work it out practically, first of all in relation to your own husband. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul shows what the portion is of the sisters that do not have husbands. They have the greater privilege, in one sense, of being in immediate contact with Christ Himself, united to Him, taking up His interests and blessed in relation to it. What a privilege to know that relationship to Christ personally in that

way. So whether it is through the husband, or whether it is directly, I think the sisters have a great place to fill and a great joy to take up in relation to this holy link.

Paul then goes on to speak about the husband’s side of it, and perhaps this is even more testing, “Husbands, love your own wives, even as the Christ also loved the assembly”. What a standard of things to put before the brothers. You are to love your wife, your own wife too, of course, as has often been stressed. You know quite a lot of the sorrows that come in through the breakdown of this relationship are because the eye wanders over other persons; but husbands love your own wives. And then the standard is set out by Paul, “even as the Christ also loved the assembly, and has delivered himself up for it”. I think that is very fine, very beautiful; there are no reserves with Jesus. You think of Him here as a Man on earth. He spoke in those parables of the beauty of the pearl, the pearl of great price, and how He valued it. The assembly was not there in actuality but it existed in His own mind and affections, and He was prepared to go and sell all that He had that He might purchase it for Himself. And think of this now, that husbands are to love their own wives “even as the Christ also loved the assembly”. I think it would humble every one of us brothers, because it is an exacting standard; and of course in our own strength we are not going to meet it. But if you can reflect something of the grace of this blessed Man in His care for, and love of the assembly, which is demonstrated at the present time in the way that He brings in ministry, help and preservation for the saints of the assembly, all that is calculated to be a lever, dear brothers, that you and I might reflect that in relation to our own wives. Speaking carefully, I believe if those things were operating, and the other side of it which we have already spoken of with the sisters, there would be no breakdown in the marriage relationship. A certain sense of dependence and obedience, and a positive outlook, too, on what the Lord has in mind in these natural relations here, would preserve us as we remain dependent.

So it goes on then to say, “in order that he might sanctify it, purifying it by the washing of water by the word, that he might present the assembly to himself glorious, having no spot, or wrinkle, or any of such things; but that it might be holy and blameless”. Is that not beautiful! This is what the Lord Jesus has before Him; and He is going to have it, for the enemy will not intrude finally upon this. He is going to have that moment of presentation, “present the assembly to himself glorious, having no spot, or wrinkle, or any of such things”. There was a reading with Mr. James Taylor on this (Vol. 73, pp.20–37), and brothers spoke of the spots and wrinkles, and Mr. Taylor said, It does not say there were any spots or wrinkles’. But the fact is it is without spot or wrinkle, that is it is perfection, it is divine workmanship; and I think from the divine side it would be true to say there are not any spots or wrinkles, but His continuing work is preventive (ibid. pp.33, 34). Mr. Taylor used that word, it prevents these things and maintains the assembly according to His great and glorious thoughts, and it is for the joy of His own heart. Is that not wonderful? I suppose if we could reflect that too in these natural relationships, dear brethren, there would not be any thought of failure or disappointment or the breakdown of it. It could not be. So I think it challenges us as to how far really we have the glorious pattern in perfection in Christ and the assembly, before us in seeking to work out that relationship here. It is a relationship, as I said at the beginning, that is eluding men around us. They do not understand it. If trouble comes, they think they can leave that one and find someone else. What a sad state of affairs, dear brethren. It will never do. But we are to work really from this heavenly pattern that is seen in Christ and His assembly. And so I delight to think of this moment of presentation that is coming, “that he might present the assembly to himself glorious, having no spot, or wrinkle, or any of such things, but that it might be holy and blameless”.

Then Paul goes back again to have another word as to our side, “So ought men also to love their own wives as their own bodies … but nourishes and cherishes it, even as also the Christ the assembly”. Think of Christ’s present service in that way, loving and nourishing and cherishing the assembly. How precious! I think we get a touch of that when He comes in at the Supper and what flows out of that, and especially the marital side in response to Christ. Wonderful thing to think of His tender loving affection for the assembly in that way, and the way that He nourishes and cherishes it. Think of the sweetness and the softness of that action, the touch of the grace of that blessed Man, that He might secure the assembly entirely suited to His own glorious thoughts. It will be but a small step into His actual presence and into the final celebration when “the marriage of the Lamb is come”, and then it says, “and his wife has made herself ready”, Revelation 19: 7. It speaks too about the clothing and the fine linen, the righteousnesses of the saints. How wonderful to think of that being formed at the present time, taking shape in view of that glorious day of display.

My point really would be that these things are to be reflected in the natural relationship between husband and wife; or in the case of the beloved sisters who are not married, in a peculiar way in their link with Christ personally. This is a wonderful compensation, that they have that privilege of caring directly for His things. If you like to read 1 Corinthians 7 you will see how Paul speaks of it, caring for the things of the Lord, whereas the married cares for the things of the husband (1 Corinthians 7: 34). I do not think that is on husbands of the Ephesian setting here, but there would be that aspect to it, that the unmarried has an advantage in that way that she can consider and cater for the needs and the thoughts and affections of her blessed Lord; how wonderful! What an opening, beloved brethren, whether it is brother or sister, for all of us to progress in these things in our affection for Christ and our usefulness to Him here. So Paul goes on, “we are members of his body”, and then comes to this great point in verse 32, “This mystery is great”. May it bow our hearts in worship as we think of the greatness of this mystery. It was there in Genesis 2, of course, immediately from the hand of God; He “built the rib that he had taken from Man into a woman; and brought her to Man. And Man said, This time it is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2: 22, 23); a wonderful thing completely distinct from the rest of creation, something for his own blessed heart and a glorious counterpart. And so it comes to its fulness now in relation to Christ and the assembly, “This mystery is great, but I speak as to Christ, and as to the assembly”.

That was the great kernel of the beloved apostle’s ministry to secure the assembly for Christ, and to bring out the great light of the assembly here in relation to Christ; a beautiful thing. I trust, dear brethren, we might get some fresh touch of the greatness of what we have been taken up in relation to, the greatness of Christ; but then He depends to some extent at least on His assembly here at the present time, and those features are going to be translated shortly into glory. It is going to be a wonderful end to this story of love, you might say, Christ and the assembly. In any measure in which we might see these things reflected in our own marital relationships, and hold them in the light of that, I think that would be a very blessed thing. May we all be preserved from the breakdown that is in the world around us in relation to this. It is bringing havoc and sorrow. You think of the young ones at school, many of their companions probably have not literal father and mother, I mean not caring for them, for they invent all sorts of nomenclature to get round this. How sad. May the children of the saints be preserved from it, and may we have a sense of what it is to be taken up in relation to these glorious relationships, “But ye also, every one of you, let each so love his own wife as himself; but as to the wife I speak that she may fear the husband”. The last verse in a way sums it all up, “each so love his own wife as himself”. Very simple, but if we think about that and we seek to practise it, I think things will work, and it brings you into a sphere of divine affections which flow from Christ through His assembly, and are reflected in the households of the saints too in this precious relationship. I trust that it might be the more so as a result of our speaking over these things today.

I say just a word about these two, Aquila and Priscilla. Perhaps some of the younger ones do not know, but these two are referred to six times in Scripture, and it has been pointed out repeatedly that three times Aquila is put first, and three times Priscilla is put first. There is a wonderful blending of these two, and in one of the verses read Paul says they “staked their own neck”; two people, one neck. That is very fine. I think these two are sample believers and show a husband and wife fully committed to the Lord’s testimony here. So in the first reference they had been told to leave Rome, and Paul came to Corinth and there they were. And it says, “came to them, and because they were of the same trade abode with them, and wrought. For they were tent-makers by trade”. This is the only place as far as I know where you would gather this from scripture. Think of Paul being a tent-maker, but he had good companions in these two. Evidently they were together in it too, and they were making tents; which in those days, and I suppose in a typical way in our own day, is a good place in which to live. Abraham sojourned in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise (Hebrews 11: 9). Maybe most of us live in a mansion compared with a tent, but it is the idea of a temporary dwelling-place here; and let us hold that, dear brethren. A wonderful thing to dwell in a tent, a day’s march nearer home. Not dwelling in mansions here or settling down in things here but they were tent-makers by trade, and Paul abode with them and wrought. Think of other work that the apostle had to do, and yet he used his hands. He used his hands in other ways, as he says, to provide for what was needed. A great vessel like the apostle Paul, and yet he could get down to the menial details, and he abode with these two. Think of having Paul at home with you, for some weeks apparently. What a wonderful privilege that would be. I think it contributed to the education of these two. I think they loved him, and I think he loved them too. Find somebody that really loves Paul; well, that is a good point, in sympathy with him. So he abode with them for they were tent-makers by trade.

Then it says later in the chapter where we read, “Paul, having yet stayed there many days” he moved on, and when he moved away from Corinth he took Priscilla and Aquila with him, “sailed thence to Syria, and with him Priscilla and Aquila”. He took them in his company. You read about that, Paul and his company; and in a way, dear brethren, that is like the fellowship today. Are we with Paul and his company? That is beautiful to have a place with the beloved apostle in relation to what is pleasing to Christ at the present time. Well these two fitted in; and I covet that, dear brethren, to fit in with the beloved apostle. With the other apostles too, of course, and above all with the Lord Himself, but here they seem to have this link with Paul that went through. And so eventually he left them and went on, but he left them at Ephesus; and then at the end of this chapter you have Apollos who comes to Ephesus. He began to speak publicly and boldly, “mighty in the scriptures … instructed in the way of the Lord, and being fervent in his spirit, he spoke and taught exactly the things concerning Jesus, knowing only the baptism of John ... And Aquila and Priscilla, having heard him, took him to them”, and it says they “unfolded to him the way of God more exactly”. You see they had profited by dwelling with Paul, and Paul dwelling with them. No doubt Paul had instructed them, led them on in their understanding of the truth of the mystery, so they could see that there was something beyond what Apollos was enjoying, and they took him to them and they explained it to him. It is very interesting that it is the man and his wife here. It is Aquila and Priscilla, which I suppose would be just. You would expect the brother perhaps to give a lead in seeking to instruct someone else more exactly in the truth, but he did not leave Priscilla out. I think that is wonderful for a brother and a sister together to be able to bring in an element of admonition or encouragement or further instruction.

As you look back in the history of this recovery, there have been some remarkable women. One of the most outstanding was Lady Powerscourt. I read her letters years ago, but I have been rereading them of late, and I would commend it to everyone. If you have not read them you have missed something, and I would lay it on every sister especially perhaps, but all of us, to read those letters. It is almost unbelievable the spiritual wealth that woman had. Contemporary, of course, with Mr. Darby, born in the same year, converted at 19 in the church, but she moved out with Mr. Darby and she was married at 22, had a little girl that died in infancy, and then she was widowed at 23. Well what a path of sadness! She certainly knew sorrow, but if you read her letters you will find a wealth there, a wealth of the Scriptures and of the truth, and a wealth of sisterly feeling and affection for others that I think leaves some of us rather speechless. I would commend it to everyone that you read those letters, because there was a woman who had known sorrow and she died when she was only 36; she had known sorrow but she also knew the love of Christ, and she knew the compassions that are new every morning, and she knew how to admonish and to exhort one and another. Her letters are full of positive, wonderful teaching as to the Scriptures, and it would be good for everyone to read them. Apparently they are on a disk now as well, but I think they are available in book form. They were reprinted by Chapter Two, London, England, some years ago as ‘The Letters and Papers of Lady Powerscourt’. I was just thinking of that in relation to these two here, taking Apollos to them, and unfolding to him the truth. I suppose they just sat down quietly with Apollos. It does not appear that there was anyone else there. They just unfolded to him the way of God. They did not rebuke him for what he had said wrong, if he had said anything wrong or shortcomings, but they “unfolded to him the way of God more exactly”. I have no doubt Apollos would have remembered that. He was “an eloquent man, who was mighty in the scriptures”, but he got touches now from these two, a man and his wife, and they were together in it. I think it helped Apollos on the road.

Then finally I read that verse in Romans 16 where amongst these commendations and references to the brethren in Rome. Paul says in verse 3, “Salute Prisca and Aquila, my fellow-workmen in Christ Jesus”. Paul refers to fellow-soldiers, fellow-workmen, fellow-captives, fellow-labourers, and there are other things too, but you think of this touch here, “my fellow-workmen”. I do not think it would have been too easy being a fellow-workman with Paul. He would not cut any corners, and he would not brook any shortcomings in the work. The work would have to be according to the divine standard, and to work with him would be, I would think, quite an exacting thing. But these two seemed to be able for it, “my fellow-workmen”. Think of a brother and a sister in those days being rated by Paul as fellow-workmen. In other words, the work that Paul was engaged with, which of course was the work of the Lord, they were with him in it as fellow-workmen. Paul speaks elsewhere of “a workman that has not to be ashamed, cutting in a straight line the word of truth” (2 Timothy 2: 15), and I believe Aquila and Priscilla would have been on that line. And I suppose it is a place that is available to every one of us at the present time, to be fellow-workmen in that sense with what Paul stands for, that is, the furtherance of assembly truth. It is a wonderful thing to see a brother and a sister yoked together in that.

Then he goes on to say, “who for my life staked their own neck; to whom not I only am thankful, but also all the assemblies of the nations”. As far as I know we do not quite know when this was, but it is a remarkable thing that a husband and wife should stake their own neck. As I said earlier, it is two people, one neck. You cannot always define these things in human terms, but these two evidently at one point risked their lives for Paul. He did not forget it, he valued it, and he says that all the assemblies of the nations valued it too. Well it is very precious to take account of this relationship of husband and wife as worked out positively for the furtherance of the testimony, the preservation of the Pauline line of things which has come down to us, and has been the main aspect, I suppose, of the opening up of the truth of this recovery in which we find our part. Not of course at all forgetting the others, the line of Peter, John, and so on, and all that has come in subsequently too, but the bedrock of it really is in the beloved apostle Paul’s ministry. May we have an ear for it, and may we, like Aquila and Priscilla, be set for the furtherance of it, and the support of it. It is available to us, dear brethren, and particularly in relation to this address I would say it is available to a husband and wife, or it is available to a sister in communion with the Lord to support these things, and to bring in added strength, and bring in affection too in relation to Christ and what is here for His pleasure at the present time. May we be encouraged in it, for His name’s sake.

Address at Buckhurst Hill
23 May 2011