THE RELATIONSHIP OF HUSBAND AND WIFE
P. R. Parker
Genesis 2: 23–25; 3: 1 (to “made”); Matthew 13: 44; Ephesians 5: 28–33
The first scripture refers to the natural relationship of husband and wife. If it were not for what is said elsewhere we would perhaps not bring what is spiritual into that scripture. The Lord reinforces that in Matthew’s gospel in saying as to natural marriage, “from the beginning it was not thus” (Matthew 19: 8). What has been before us today has been simply that, as I understand it. That is, it has been the taking up of the natural relationship, which is according to God. I was impressed that the marriage vows of our brother and sister were concluded ‘in the name of the Lord Jesus’—so that we have in Colossians that whatever we do we are to do it in the name of the Lord Jesus. That is, our lives are not divided up into departments; we have just one life; that is a Christian’s life. We are either Christians, or we are not. We are to be committed to the Lord like Paul, or Saul of Tarsus, was; one of the first things he said after he was smitten down was, “Lord”. So that whatever we do, we are to do it to the Lord and that involves our natural relationships, a man and his wife.
Now you can see, and I think it is good for us to contemplate it, why the serpent moved so quickly. Paul says, “I fear lest by any means, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craft, so your thoughts should be corrupted from simplicity as to the Christ”, 2 Corinthians 11: 3. Now I know he was referring specifically to the introduction of carnal things in the things of God, but the way that the devil got in in the beginning was in relation to the natural relationship. I think that it is an explanation for us, as to why the devil has been so busy in trying to spoil the natural relationship of man and wife. That is, this applies to every man and every woman in relation to marriage.
It is not exactly a question as to whether they are Christians or not, it is a question of the relationship between man and wife which is of God. Any interference with that is contrary to God’s ordinance. God’s arrangement, what He has instituted in His wisdom. What flows out of it of course as we see, and as we often refer to it, is the greatness of what is spiritual, and the understanding of what is spiritual is a very precious thing. But there is a tendency with us to forget the responsibilities that we have here in all our relationships, which in themselves are not spiritual, but they are to be regulated by what is spiritual and they are to be regulated by our relations with the Lord. So whatever we do we are to do it in relation to the Lord. And so this is a very precious scripture in Genesis, and much has been said as to it.
But then I would pass on to the one in Matthew as to the treasure. Our brother today has found a treasure; I do not say that he only found it today, but he is brought into the experience of it as he has not had before, and what is said here you will notice is a simile of what a man does. We take spiritual thoughts out of it and that is very good and right, but this is what any man ought to do when he finds a treasure like our brother has found. He finds it in the field and he hides it; it is not for display in the world, it is not for anybody else. Rebecca had these sensibilities of the bride—she covered herself; she was for Isaac. Isaac did not take her out for public display, she was in the tent and that is what our brother would do in relation to his affections for this sister. Well now, as doing that, it will open the way for the greatest things and the unveiling of God’s greatest thoughts.
As to Ephesians, another interesting thing there which I notice is that Paul says, “This mystery is great”, and he is referring to what is natural. I am not saying that he is not referring to what is spiritual, but I think that if you look carefully at it you will see that it is what
is natural. In the first scripture that I read you have the thought of the two becoming one flesh, that is, union. That is not that they agree over matters, and can say, ‘We have talked over this matter and we agree about it’, it is what we might say is instinctively responsive to any matter that comes up, that they have one mind; it is no longer two, no longer twain, it is one. It is a wonderful thing to prove in the ordinary natural relationship. I know the devil is against it and I do not think that I could find any who have not had some problems, but Aquila and Priscilla seemed to get on pretty well together and it shows what God’s mind is.
That is the thought of union in the natural relationship. I do not say that it comes quickly necessarily, I do not say that I see it as merely physical, it is a relationship that involves that we instinctively, man and wife, think the same thing as matters proceed. It is of God. Our brother and sister would know little of it perhaps in their experience up till now but I would encourage them to think about it, to make way for it. So that this thought is in God’s mind right at the beginning of the Scriptures, the two were one flesh. Adam says that, “This time it is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh”. It is all of one and Paul says that this is a great mystery.
I do not think that we, I might say separately, can understand the relationship between another couple fully; they are really the only ones that understand it because of what he says.
But it is something very precious to be entered upon and I think if we consider it we will see how it works in its preciousness. A man and his wife as they are subject to the Lord and moving here in the sphere of testimony can prove the blessedness of this relationship. But then of course Paul is going on to the great matter; he says, “but I speak as to Christ, and as to the assembly”. Now that is a very interesting connection. That is, that it is all one matter, and the rightness of our relationships here will always lead on to God’s greatest thoughts. He speaks about a man loving his wife, about how she would be in relation to him, but then he is leading on to that which goes into eternity; the natural relationship does not go through.
Word at a marriage, Adelaide
16 November 1991