SELF DECEPTION
[p. 153] SELF DECEPTION
I believe some Christians think they have nearness to the Lord and spiritual happiness who very little understand either the one or the other. It is quite possible for a soul to rest satisfied with a certain quietude, and to be in a degree devoted and devotional, who is not near the Lord. It is quite possible for a Christian to go on in great darkness with a good conscience, their good works and good reputation stand them in good stead, and they go on without exercise, save now and again they are distressed when they have fallen below their own standard. I daresay Peter did not feel any disturbance from his conscience when he was fishing, nor Paul when he went into the temple at the instigation of James, but I need hardly say that if either had been walking very near the Lord, he would not have done so. The conscience is no criterion unless it is daily enlightened by the word of God. The power and wonders of God never touch you like the still small voice. Your feet are washed by Christ’s words to your soul, and the soul that trembleth at His word is the one that is really near Him, walking in the fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom. You will always find that there is more reverence and fear of the Lord in a soul that is walking near Him than in one who feels less the evil within and without, and therefore assumes to be happy and in a place of nearness which in truth he is not. Reverence and value for the word of God is an external test as to whether one is walking with Him. The word is regarded not merely as a marvellous revelation, but in relation to himself individually. Not a word he quotes of it — if he is before the Lord — but sends its ring to my soul of its quality and metal.
But there is also an internal test, if I may say so. If you tell me what your soul is occupied with I can tell you where you are, and I believe a person is often very well satisfied with himself for a good long prayer (do not smile, we have deceitful hearts); again for visiting some needy one, and again, because we have acquitted ourselves [p. 154] to the approbation of others. And a still more insidious state is that of occupation with our own failures. How often does one think well of his state because he has raked up its evil (and even that is only the kind that he feels most)! True, most true, you must see the evil when entering into the light; but you cannot enjoy the Lord until the clouds have been removed by His word declaring His grace to the confessing soul.
I have noticed what would prove that the soul was not near the Lord. I must just add that the one great expressive mark that a soul is near the Lord is that he is receiving light and instruction from Him, and such a soul could never be statu quo, or even only improved, or good, as men say. You may find Christians very good and proper who are really thinking more of themselves than of the Lord, exacting love and consideration instead of truly in the fear of the Lord labouring to confer it. Whenever a soul makes itself the object the Lord is far from it.