SORROW AND TRIAL - BEREAVEMENT
SORROW AND TRIAL - BEREAVEMENT
NO. 1 Without question, to depart to be with Christ is “far better”. But to my mind it is a great triumph to His grace that He can make the greatest bereavement and loss to us naturally, of unspeakable gain to us, endearing Himself to us in a very special way, as He becomes the One to fill up, in His own blessed way, the blank which death had made. Mary of Bethany, if she mourned the loss of a brother (her only support here), learned when Jesus walked with her, that she had in Him One beyond a brother; for the Lord never hinted that He would raise up Lazarus. But when He had filled the blank in her heart with Himself, He gave back Lazarus to her, and so great was His place in her heart that in the next chapter, when she knew that He was about to die, she buried with Him the most costly property she possessed, and the thing that would have most contributed to her own distinction. I never saw any one severed from this scene by sorrow of itself. I see that when the heart, bowed with sorrow, finds compensation and solace in Him, it is weaned from the [p. 64] place where the sorrow is, and drawn away to Him where He is. Then I see that out of the eater comes forth meat, and out of the strong sweetness.
NO. 2 The darkness of sorrow is deep indeed, but I pray that the deepest joy may be known to you with Christ Himself. The deepest sorrow here, but the deepest joy with Him in company with Himself.... Surely when we are in spirit apart from this place, and with Christ at the other side of death, we taste of a joy and a solace which bears us above the deepest anguish here.... There is a blessed solace for the heart in sorrow when you are drawn to His side. Many who enjoy Christ’s work as the Saviour do not really know Him as Priest. As Saviour He came down to us, but He who was down here, and died for us, is a great Priest for us in heaven itself, ever to maintain us in His own acceptance there.
... I quite sympathise with you as to ————. I believe that is the right feeling, a sense of desolation here, but I am comforted and greatly compensated for my loss as I am drawn to the Lord Himself at the other side of the waters of death. The people of this world boast of their heroism, etc., but the Lord wept with Mary! He groaned in spirit, and was troubled. The Lord was tenderness itself, He could say to His disciples, and He felt it — Ye will leave me alone and yet I am not alone, for the Father is with me. You may be full of feeling, but borne above it by the greatness and blessedness of His own company. May you know more of this. Through Him we have access by one Spirit unto the Father; you come near in Christ’s blessedness. It is truly wonderful! Nothing mellows any one so much as sorrow does, when the heart has found sympathy in it from the Lord.
NO. 3 Your chief friend is the one who is found near you in sorrow. Any one can share in your joy, but there is really only One who can enter into the nature of your sorrow,
[p. 65] and He, blessed be His name, is very near you in your sorrow. He proves to us that it is better to go to the house of mourning than to the house of feasting. However prepared you may have been for the present blank, yet it is a blank, his place shall know him no more.
The silence of death is a terrible reality, though, through divine grace, you can anticipate the great day when we shall all surround our Lord, and be with Him for ever. I believe that the removal of a beloved one, especially a parent or a husband from the family circle, is a dispensation (though very sorrowful) fraught with much spiritual gain. The reality of death is first before the heart; then the reality of the Lord’s sympathy, the only true reparation of the great blank; and finally, the question is how the bereaved ones will address themselves to the new and untrodden path that remains for them. It is in the latter that I see almost every one fail, and I conclude that it is because the Lord has not been known as having by His own company more than made up for the blank. The worldly claim consideration from others as a palliation for their grief. They proclaim their sorrow in every ostensible way; and Christians even often feed their sorrow instead of being relieved of it in the most touching way by Him who can more than make up to us for any loss entailed on us by man’s sin.
May each of you, according to the measure of your sorrow, be consoled by the Lord Himself, and thus out of the eater shall come forth meat.
NO. 4 Your note greatly comforted me. Sorrow — real sorrow — masters us more (possibly) than anything. Illness you may survive, there is hope. Reverse of circumstances can be improved, but the sorrow because of bereavement tests one’s resources in the Lord more than anything, especially as it is justifiable. Nothing commands so much respect as real sorrow. We read, “I have not eaten thereof in my mourning” (Deuteronomy 26: 14). It is not intended that we should not feel death, and the nearer it comes to us the greater the [p. 66] wrench. I believe, like the standard rose tree, the more the rose flourishes the more the briar — the stem, must be checked. In fact, the rose does not flourish if the briar is allowed to grow. The sun (Christ) for the rose, but the knife (God’s discipline) for the briar. What blessed gain to find everything in heaven, and nothing at all here.
May the Lord comfort you fully, and make you a comfort to others. The dearest human heart which we could ever have, has died for us; and He now lives for us and sympathises with us.
I hope ———— is rejoicing under the shelter of a wing that will never fail in the coldest and roughest day.
NO. 5 It is —— years this month since the Lord called away our son ————, then 18 years of age, to Himself. It seemed almost unaccountable to me that He should have deprived me of him when he was so thoroughly devoted to Him, and therefore could have been such a help and comfort to me. It is very easy to me to weep with you — the sorrowing parents of your beloved child. I never realised the exit of a saint until I saw our dear ———— pass away. It then made a very decided mark on me. Stephen looking up stedfastly into heaven came before me in quite a new way. And, thank the Lord, it grows upon me: the distance seems shorter. The Spirit leads up to the brightest spot, and God allows the wave of death to overtake us here so that we may be partakers of His holiness. We could not do the one nor the other. It is all His doing. Surely, from the bottom of my heart, I desire and pray that this immeasurable sorrow may be only the night before your brightest day. The Lord comfort you both in His own most blessed way.
NO. 6 The Lord came to Bethany where the sisters were in the depth of their sorrow. That was the time for Him. They had the one and the self-same sorrow; death had taken away the stay and comfort of their hearts. He came to [p. 67] console them, but though they had the same bereavement they did not find in Him similar consolation. That is, He comforted Mary more than Martha. Martha in the house of mourning was like a dark, cold cellar, where there was no crevice for the light and heat of the sun; while Mary had every window open in the largest room of her heart to receive every ray of comfort, in such fulness shining on her.
Blessed Lord! He waited till things were at their worst. Elijah knew His mind in another day, he stayed in the widow’s house until the death of her son. If the Lord had not waited until the worst had come, His ability to relieve from the worst would not have been known. He comes to you now, dear Mrs. ————, in this moment, to make you know that He can comfort you in this, the saddest and darkest hour; but you must be a Mary and not a Martha, you must receive the rays of His comfort; you must not dwell on your sorrow, and loss, and bereavement, you must simply turn to Him to make up the blank. Look to Him, as one would open a dark, cold room to the noonday sun, and surely if you do, you will receive a comfort from Him that will more than compensate you for your great loss and sorrow. May you and your dear daughters prove it to be as I say, is my heartfelt prayer.
NO. 7 There is no sorrow so great as the sorrow because of death, and this the more so as the one removed is near and dear to you. The loved one is gone — the blank never to be filled up. There is a desolation about death that no one can understand who has not been in it. But your desolation is the Lord’s opportunity of making known to you the deep interest He takes in you, not merely in your bright hours, but in the moment when you are well-nigh crushed with sorrow. It imparts the deepest sense of His interest that He should draw near to me when absorbed with my own sorrow, to so console me with Himself that He becomes more to me than my sorrow. This His sympathy effects. It is an effect never to be forgotten, or rather the [p. 68] impression He will give you of His love will never be forgotten, so that your deep affliction through His grace will be turned into the deepest blessing, the “dry ground into watersprings” (Psalm 107: 35), “the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness” (Isaiah 61: 3). May thus great blessing accrue to you from this deep sorrow! May the Lord be more and more endeared to you, as He was to Mary of Bethany.