THE VESSEL NOT ALTERED BUT CONTROLLED

THE VESSEL NOT ALTERED BUT CONTROLLED

Gladly shall I try and say all that is on my heart, though it is a solemn thing to do so, lest that by any means, or rather in any way, I shall be found hindering instead of helping. However, the gracious Lord judges the intents of our hearts, and He brings about the good which is desired, even when we spoil or delay it by our inter-meddling. I assume that the Lord has given you a heart and an ability to serve His people. The extent and the measure of it I know not, but the existence of the gift or ability is known by the possessor, not so much by what he can show, as by the simple fact that there is an understanding between the Lord and his own heart that he ought to serve Him, and a desire which does not seek display. I believe where the desire is most real and where there is true godliness, the service will be most unobtrusive, because the servant does not seek countenance from man, but rather fears the countenance of man. His delight and rest of heart is with the Lord, and he desires to serve Him, but hesitates lest it should not be acknowledged as service by those whom he seeks to serve. A servant fears to offer anything in the way of service which will not be regarded as service; we all know that an officious person is not a good servant. I believe that when there is a gift that it moves one like the way the Spirit moved Samson between Eshtaol and Dan (see Judges). I think I may confidently assert that the Spirit of the Lord has been moving you, and as He has, your natural timidity is no evidence that He has not, but only a safeguard, as well as a proof, that the leading must be of the Lord, for you are not ^[p. 256] naturally confident; I mean that your natural timidity preserves you from rushing into a service where another with self-confidence, and perhaps with little or no ability, would come forward boldly. I do not think the gift ever alters the vessel, but as there is subjection to the Lord the vessel is controlled and made fit for His service. No horse goes under a cart of his own accord, but after a while he becomes steady and tractable, but he must always be harnessed and driven. I do not think your timidity is a real hindrance. I believe that it will only make you have more sense of dependence and the need of it. I freely admit that the less a servant is affected by anything around, the more simple and genuine is his ministry. But, believe me, there is often a cause for this timidity, I have traced it in myself — and that is when one cannot present himself before his fellows as personally an exponent of the truths which he sets forth. The Lord only supports me in public as I maintain Him in private. I feel it involves no small amount of the surrender of self-ease, and a thousand things which evangelists in Christendom retain, when one comes forth as a teacher or help in the church, and the clearer my conscience is, and the nearer my heart is to the Lord, the less can I venture to press on others what I do not feel has had a true effect on myself. Timidity in itself is only an occasion for dependence, but the Lord will not help me when my heart condemns me. Now I do not say that your heart condemns you, I only want to show you that there is no real obstacle in natural timidity, but the Lord often allows it to obstruct His servant, either where he is not wholly cast on Him, or when there is something in his heart which condemns him, and hinders his full confidence in the Lord. The vessel is the Lord’s. What I really feel about you, and what I deeply desire for you for the Lord’s sake, is that you should make His service your chief business. You would find true and wholesome co-operation every way in dear ————, but I think and feel that you ought to take heed to the ministry which you have received of the Lord that you fulfil it. I do not say, never go near the office, but I do desire that you should be known better as the Lord’s servant than as the merchant. I think and am assured that as you devote yourself to the Lord’s service that things that may now hang loosely about you will drop off. The light above the brightness of the sun made Paul blind. If a man is blind he cannot be much interested in visible things. “Who is blind, but my servant?” (Isaiah 42: 19). I have the feeling that the Lord has called you to the ministry, and I have thought that in view of it He has so often led you into Arabia — into retirement. Imperfectly I have conveyed my mind to you, such as it is. The Lord alone can give effect to what is of His own mind. I have the comfort of feeling how I shall rejoice in your prosperity and this is of blessing to myself because it is of Him.