MINISTRY AT A MARRIAGE

(i) Geoffrey Bywater

Ephesians 5: 22-27; 1 Corinthians 7: 39; Titus 2: 1-8

I am thinking, dear brethren, about the divine standard. I am sure that we would accept that God's standard is Christ, and in relation to the marriage that has occurred today, we might say that God's standard is Christ and the assembly. The language here is particularly interesting. It says "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord, for a husband is head of the wife, as also the Christ is head of the assembly". It is noticeable that the words "submit yourselves" have been put in square brackets, as if the translator recognised that the divine thought was so sensitive that it could hardly be put into human language. It is really "Wives to your own husbands, as to the Lord". And then “for a husband is head of the wife, as also the Christ is head of the assembly". Another thing to be noticed is that it says "Husbands, love your own wives". It does not say husbands be head of your wives. They are to be head but it is the way the scripture puts it here: "even as the Christ also loved the assembly". Again we have the divine standard. What a wonderful matter it is for our thoughts to be directed to Christ and the assembly even as we rejoice in the union of our brother and his wife.

I am thinking of the scripture in 1 Corinthians 7, not in the actual setting in which it is, but particularly these words as to marriage: "only in the Lord". We can be thankful that our young brother and sister have committed themselves in this way. They have married whom they will but "only in the Lord". That was their choice, to be regulated thus by the Lord. For the sake of those very much younger amongst us, if it had said "only in Christ", it could have been any believer that our brother or sister had married. As I understand it, this expression "only in the Lord" would point to the fact that our brother and sister, and many others here, have committed themselves to the Lord's will, the fellowship, the conditions of the fellowship, and to be governed by the truth in doctrine and practice. Thus they have committed themselves to marriage "in the Lord". The older brethren have no doubt followed these matters in many instances with exceeding thankfulness, where young persons have been preserved from what is wayward and have taken on this matter of "in the Lord" - the divine standard. What a basis it is for the Lord to bless the household and the local assembly of which they will form part, that there should be another household where husband and wife have committed themselves to the divine standard. They are not the only ones here who have been marked by this feature, for many others have committed themselves very definitely in this way. Such have not allowed their affections to be wayward in the office or at school, but have been marked by self-control. These things are not automatic; self-judgment and committal are needed, definite committal to the Lord Jesus and to His people and to what is right. In the many cases where this has been so, including that of our brother and sister, we can thoroughly commend them. They have set themselves for what is right, and may there be others who do so if the Lord leaves us here.

Now Paul has something to say to Titus, as he does to Timothy, about the continuance of the divine standard in our households. The elder men and the elder women have their place in this example and admonition. Then he speaks of the young women and the younger men. There is a word for each so that their union and their household may be blessed. As we have observed, the older ones have a part in admonishing. We perhaps think of admonish as a severe word, but it is to help, to advise, to warn, as well as to rebuke if necessary, as the note indicates, that things may prosper with the younger ones. So Paul says "that they may admonish the young women to be attached to their husbands, to be attached to their children, discreet, chaste". And then diligence in homework, is mentioned. We need to keep to the divine standard, dear brethren, and the Lord would help us in it. He would help us as we commit ourselves to the word of God, to see how to work it out in a modern day in which there are many pressures. Then he says, "The younger men in like manner exhort to be discreet" (both are exhorted to be discreet). Then it goes on to say "in teaching uncorruptedness, gravity, a sound word". Our brother cannot sit back and say, I will leave the giving of sound words to those who take meetings, to those who minister the truth. He needs to bring in a sound word in his household, to be marked by wisdom in that way. May we be helped in these things, as committing ourselves to the divine standard, beginning with what is so excellent in Christ and the assembly. For His Name's sake.