ADDRESS ON MARRIAGE
[p. 70] ADDRESS ON MARRIAGE
Proverbs 31: 10 - 31; 1 Peter 3: 1 - 7
I think it is a mistake to suppose that marriage as it is now has reference simply to the interests of this present life. It is a relationship connected with this present life, I quite admit, but we take up marriage now, not from Adam and Eve, but from Christ and the church, and that brings into it very much more of the moral element; it places it, in that sense, in connection with what is above and beyond this present life. I think it is very important to have marriage in that connection.
Marriage is the crucial point in the history of a man for good, or for evil. It may work disastrously or otherwise; experience has shewn us that often enough, and we have to look to it that it may turn to good.
Now my object is to seek to shew how marriage may connect us with what is eternal. It may become an occasion in the grace of God, for those bound together in marriage, of forming special spiritual links, which are beyond all that is present. There may be a result of marriage which goes beyond all question of happiness, or of natural joy in the present life. I think it would be well indeed if the natural were sacrificed to the spiritual, if present gain were sacrificed to the spiritual and eternal; and if marriage be taken up in that light, I think we would gain great good from it.
Now you find Peter speaking to the husband and wife here as “heirs together of the grace of life”. That could not have been said to Adam and Eve, but now another element has come in, and husband and wife are “heirs together of the grace of life”. It is wonderful to look abroad in the world, and see the traces of the goodness of God still. You get something of that kind brought out in the passage I read in Proverbs. You could not fail to see traces of the goodness of God in existing relationships:
[p. 71] you see it in parents and children, and with husband and wife. While man on his part has become lawless, and turned to sin, yet you find certain traces of God’s goodness remaining. I think that is perfectly evident, and as I said, you get a wonderful picture of it in Proverbs. All that was of the wife, and all her doings, and energies, were to be contributory to the husband. Mischief began by the woman losing the sense of the head; she got on on her own understanding, and lost the sense of the head, and that has never been recovered. Now the great point evidently in regard of marriage is that the wife must be prepared to sacrifice her own individuality, and her own interests, and all that, and her part is to be contributory to her husband. She must not seek to glorify herself; she has accepted a head — for that is what is done in marriage, the man is the head of the woman — and her energies and her doings are to be contributory to the man.
In the care of the household, and the bringing up of children and all that, she is to be the glory of the man. She was not to shine in her own glory, the woman is the glory of the man.
Now when you come to christianity, what I want to point out is this: we do not stand properly in relation to this world, but we stand in relation to the living God, and you cannot connect the living God with a scene which is dominated by death. That is a point of the last moment to my mind. God stands in relation to a scene of life. He is the “preserver of all men”, I know, but the very idea of the living God is that He stands in relation to all that is life; and all that is of life stands in relation to a living God. If we accepted that, it would tend to separate us more in mind and spirit from the scene of death. We have to take up many things in connection with this scene of death, but at the same time, a man may be dissociated from the scene which is dominated by death, and we may all be conscious of being in relation with the living God. He has not yet come out publicly in that character, but when He comes out as the living God, the [p. 72] whole scene will be filled with life — it will be a wonderful day! Many of us have come to be fairly well content with this scene, when things are fair, but we have to remember that it is a scene dominated by death; no one can doubt for a moment that it is so. But if you have to do with the living God, He connects us with all that is of life, and all that is of life connects itself with the living God. The church is the church of the living God, and Christ is the living stone, and we, coming to Him as living stones, are built up a spiritual house. I believe it is a point of the last moment that God should give us some apprehension of the living God, and of all that stands in relation to the living God. In result all will take its character from the living God, He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for all live unto Him. Abraham and Isaac and Jacob all stand in relation to the living God and the church is the church of the living God. I want us to recognise that more and more. If people give themselves up to present proprieties and the amenities of life, they are acting to a very large extent in the light of a world that is dominated by death. People are to a great extent governed by it, you can see it by their appointments, their homes, and in their dress — they make it manifest that they are more or less dominated by the scene which is under death. But what we want to make manifest in all that we are, and in the way too in which we carry out our natural relationships, is that we stand in relationship to the living God.
Now husband and wife are to walk together as heirs together of the grace of life. There was no question of their being heirs together at the outset, but it is a very important point now in regard to the marriage tie, and the practical result is that spiritual ties are formed, which are not for time but for eternity. It is not a question of mere natural happiness, or of what is agreeable to us in this life, but as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. I am sure it is a most important point to see, placed together in such close [p. 73] relationship as husband and wife, that there should be the formation of spiritual links which are connected with the living God. The relationship itself must of necessity come to an end with the life down here, but in regard to christians, God allows it to go on so that it might become the means of forming special and spiritual links which are for eternity. It is of all moment that our beloved brother and sister should take their light from Christ and the church. Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it, and the church is subjected to Christ. So with the wife, she does not shine in her own light, but she is contributory to her husband, and the husband gives direction to his wife, he is head over her. I do not mean in the sense of lording it over her, but he brings in his influence in connection with all that is right, he directs her. And we who are husbands have to look to it that we lead our wives aright so that headship is seen.
Then the place of the wife is evidently that in the detail of life she is to be contributory to her husband. The great point is that the husband should go right, for then as a general rule you may say that if the husband goes right, then the wife will go right too. I believe if you trace it fairly you will find that the real reason why things have not gone right with many is that the husband did not go right. He is to take the initiative — he is to direct his wife, and she on her part is to be subject to her husband, and if they carry that out they will walk together as heirs together of the grace of life, and will increasingly know what it is to stand in relation to the living God, and all that stands in relation to the living God is eternal. All that issues from the living God to us is what stands in relation to the living God, and which must therefore subsist eternally, because it has the blessed character of life in contrast to the death that dominates here in this scene of death. I would desire then that they might take their light from Christ and the church, and that they might stand in relation to the living God not merely in future relation, but in present relation to the living God, and [p. 74] that their relation to one another as husband and we might be used to form those spiritual links which remain for ever.