EXERCISE, A PREPARATION FOR MINISTRY

EXERCISE, A PREPARATION FOR MINISTRY

I must say that the exercise through which you are passing indicates a preparation for ministry rather than the reverse.

Nothing conduces more to fit the minister for his work than a deep, real sense of the importance of the ^[p. 290] truth which he has to communicate; and when one is not deeply affected by it in oneself, then one cannot urge it effectually upon others. I do not think retirement from ministry would give good effect to this exercise. I feel it must come, as truth is apprehended in its divine greatness. It is ever the evening before the morning.

The sense of my moral distance from God deepens as I am made conscious of my nearness to Him. I should be overwhelmed by the former, only that in the light of the latter I know my deliverance from it.

Your exercise is nothing new. It may seem rather strange to you, because your naturally even way has preserved you from the sense of alternation. You have studied the word more than you have judged yourself by it. Had you been less personally careful in your walk, had you been openly or deeply exposed to yourself, you would have known more of this exercise before this. I regard it as distinct blessing from the Lord that you should be so exercised; and while it is a voice to myself, I believe it to be His own blessed way of fitting more for His service; and I find that with every who is progressing, there is exercise of this kind. It is like the three days when Paul was not able to see because of “the glory of that light”, but he heard the blessed word, “... that thou mightest see, and be filled with the Holy Spirit” (Acts 9: 17).

There is another thing which this exercise imposes on us, and by which it is relieved, and that is by answering at once to every demand the Lord may have on us. This is devotedness in some shape or form. In some it may entail the confession of a course of hidden worldliness or worse. In others a self-renunciation, or abnegation of any selfishness or covetousness, which the truth, when maintained in power, insists on. The highest truth asserts its claims in the lowest details. Hence “if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. And whatsoever we ask, we ^[p. 291] receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight” (1 John 3: 21, 22).

Things which would be passed over in one of less light are subjects of judicial inquiry with one of more light, or of the highest light. For instance, insuring one’s life, or saving money, I have no doubt the Lord suffers in a man little enlightened, which I believe would become causes of darkness to the one well enlightened, and the only way to obtain relief is by getting rid of the dark part.

I rejoice, beloved brother, and I am far from unfeeling when I say it, that you are subjected to this exercise. I have passed through much more trying ones myself, because I felt myself more self-condemned, and I often wonder how saints can adopt high truth without seeing deeper through the “hole in the wall” (Ezekiel 8: 7).

If you give way to retirement you will shrink from the sword, or rather from the light; and you will not sing as in the days of your youth. I believe there is a new and blessed course before you. You are called upon now to fulfil what you started with, namely, to give up all for Christ.