"I SLEEP, BUT MY HEART WAKETH"
“I SLEEP, BUT MY HEART WAKETH”
May your heart have a fuller apprehension of Christ’s heart. It is as we learn His, that we arrive at a true understanding of a suited response to it. “I sleep, but my heart waketh”, is the state of those who have enjoyed His company, even elated by the happiness of the intercourse. One could hardly think that immediately consequent on this peculiar time of happiness, there should be any reluctance for a renewal of it. But such is the uncertainty of the natural heart in relation to divine things, and therefore to the Lord. The natural heart can bear to enjoy itself apart from the Lord, even though it has been convinced that the happiness in company with Him could not be surpassed. The heart remains true to Him, but the sleeping indicates that it is enjoying a rest apart from Him, from which it does not wish to be disturbed. That is, that one can have a cessation of active correspondence and interchange with the Lord, without surrendering the fidelity of the heart to Him. If the heart had been drawn aside one would not wonder at any measure of sleeping, or the inactivity of affection. But that the heart should remain true, awake to the deep tie that subsists between Him and it, and at the same time openly prefer the ease of nature to the activity that His love desires, is another evidence of the changeableness of our affections, or rather of their weakness.
[p. 377] But He, blessed be His name, will not surrender His love. His love is ever active He will enjoy you; though you may for a moment sleep - be inactive with regard to Him - He cannot be so to you. And this is a great comfort. He knocks. I do not think a knock is the way by which He elicits my attention when I am sitting under His shadow with great delight. I consider a knock something to startle or awaken me; and in this case it discloses the state of a true heart, which yet can enjoy itself apart from Him, and really feels it irksome to resume the pleasure of His company.
It has been said that the relationship in Canticles is that of brother and sister (see chapter 8: 1); but be that as it may, there is no claim here on the ground of relationship, the claim is on the ground of love suffering in its service. The true heart must respond, though there be an excusing itself because of all that it would entail. This is the way the heart not in the activity of love always excuses itself. First, the disinclination to enter on new and suited circumstances, illustrated by: “I have put off my coat; how shall I put it on?” - I am resting. “I have washed my feet; how shall I defile them?” (Song of Songs 5: 3) - how shall I leave this place of ease for the soiling conflict to which love in its activity is exposed in this world? It is an old saying, ‘He that excuses himself accuses himself’. The Lord is not repelled, many waters do not quench love. His hand now finds an entrance. He put in His hand by the hole of the door. It is not His voice knocking, but His hand seen. Some distinct act of His arouses the dilatory heart to activity. Love triumphs. The true response comes - “I rose up to open to my beloved”; and immediately there is a sense of the blessing in doing so. “My hands dropped with myrrh, and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh”. The first movements in response to His love are marked with distinct fragrance; then follows a very interesting exercise. The Lord has withdrawn Himself. Love is unquenchable, but it [p. 378] likes to be appreciated because it is invaluable. Then after suffering for launching into extremes to recover lost ground, the heart finds repose and consolation in dwelling in detail on the personal beauties of the Lord; and at length the heart surcharged with His loveliness, like the disciples going to Emmaus, seeks Him, and finds Him in His own place. There is no true rest or recovery of the heart until then. It is welcome and happy light when you find yourself in His garden - Himself in His own place; and then you will exclaim, “I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine” (Song of Songs 6: 3).
May this year be marked by the deep and full way in which your heart is affiliated to Him, practically ready for His company always, and finding your all in it.